As a Transman is my body an aesthetic or worthy of true fitness….
I read an article 7 years ago by Henry Rollins called “Iron and the Soul.” This article tapped into a deeper part of me. Then it became my mantra: the answer to finding what I thought was true balance. I have been so used to living in boxes that I made my truth in the Iron and in some ways this truth did set me free and gave me a new reasons to pick up those chains.
As a Trans man I found my body but I wasn’t connected. Through the years of working out I grew in my body. I regained my confidence, presented my new skin and affirmed my presence in my body. As I got strong, I felt my body and the pain was how I rejoiced. I will not be a weak man! Yet I was weak and disconnected, building a strong house on a weak foundation. My ideology about what it means to be strong.
I am now a student of strength.
As I learn more from strength, I learn more about my weaknesses. My lack of awareness in my body created a space between my workout and my fitness. What I lacked was more than knowledge but connectivity. Then I became frustrated that I worked for many years to look strong but not really be strong. I didn’t honestly know what true strength was. I was working toward an aesthetic, not to have better function or better mobility. Why look strong if you can’t be Strong?
Strength has a greater purpose.
I find passion in the Bell. I have found a new reason to pick up the Iron. I need to be whole, much like my body, and remind myself daily that I need to remain connected. I am learning from the kettle bell. In order to master it, I need to master me. And this journey, life, mastering me has had many challenges, yet the purpose of strength is knowing I can get through and keep my Integrity.
I share this because I want others to know fitness is not just a workout. It’s a journey. Our strength has a greater purpose: to be better so we feel better, not look better. That’s just the bonus.
The Kettle is this verse of my journey and I love more than just my skin!!!!!!!
In this body that doesn’t make any sense of me, I felt like a broken poem, a song you would never sing out loud. In this body my I have the drive to live my passion and grateful to the tool that helped me polish my armor.